Your Copy Sucks
Revision Sample

This client asked me to rewrite their articles to make them “sound hipper.”

ORIGINAL

Content optimization

Having informative and catchy content in your website is a huge part in getting more people to respond in the way you want them to. However, SEO-wise, there is much more that should be done. Enter content optimization, or the process of utilizing the content in your website to rank much better in the search engines.

You need to pay attention to the following elements, for you to successfully use your content to work you up to the top of the search results:

·         Heading Tags. This is what tells the visitors (and the search engines) what your page is about.

·         Inline text links. These are links to web pages that are incorporated in the body of a text. 

·         Special text. These are words, phrases or simply characters that stand out from the rest of the content, by being formatted as bold, italics or colored.

·         Keyword density. This pertains to a keyword’s percentage in the total content. For instance, 3 percent keyword density translates to mentioning a keyword three times in a 100-word article.

All of these elements contribute to a text’s SEO performance. Optimize your content with our help. Contact us now!

REVISED

Content Optimization = Search Engine Optimization

Having great website content that your customers respond to is one thing. It’s even better if your content casts its reel and sets its hook! This is where Content Optimization gets added to our tackle box.

Content Optimization is how we use the content you already have to rank your site better at the search engines.

We do this by paying special attention to all the boring details. We treat your heading tags better than we do our first born sons.

Your special text, inline text links, and keyword density become like our family as soon as you hire us!

Boring details contribute to your content’s customer-catching performance at places like Google and Yahoo, and we’ll put the tedium to work for you so that you can concentrate on what you do best –

Creating awesome content your tribe loves!

NOT (SEO). That’s our job. :-)

EmptyThreadCo spec
from my working portfolio at trashbang.tumblr

EmptyThreadCo spec

from my working portfolio at trashbang.tumblr

Your ad doesn’t work if it needs hands to point at stuff inside it.
"Jewelry & gifts," top right:
I would never make your customers read from right to left, not unless I had a very good reason to, anyway. :-)

Your ad doesn’t work if it needs hands to point at stuff inside it.

"Jewelry & gifts," top right:

I would never make your customers read from right to left, not unless I had a very good reason to, anyway. :-)

“best meds ever”
Lowercase like that, maybe even without the “e” in “ever” to make it tongue-in-cheek, is better than this.
This is a gorgeous sign, but it yells, has too many words, and makes a BS claim.
It doesn’t take all that to emphasize organic and quality.

best meds ever

Lowercase like that, maybe even without the “e” in “ever” to make it tongue-in-cheek, is better than this.

This is a gorgeous sign, but it yells, has too many words, and makes a BS claim.

It doesn’t take all that to emphasize organic and quality.